Speaking of real men, the recipe for this one is called “The Woody”. This delicious blend will enhance every aspect of your life and, uh, help you stand tall, day and night.

» NCIS: Los Angeles 3.15- “Crimeleon”

BEST OF TV (2011 EDITION) | 6 Favourite Returning Shows (Fall) » NCIS: Los Angeles

“I know what’s wrong here. There can only be one alpha male in a partnership. Problem is, we got ourselves a pack of two.”

Vance: Any chance Bernie Fischer is lying?
Everyone Else: No. Uh-uh. Nope. Nah.

Callen: So what about pirates?
Sam: What?
Callen: They’re a real problem these days.
Sam: I think we’ll be okay. They usually don’t come this far inland unless they’re on vacation.
Callen: I’m talking about your sailboat.
Sam: It’s not my sailboat. It’s a charter. And no, I’m not worried about pirates. SEALs eat pirates for breakfast.
Callen: Uh-huh.What do they taste like, chicken?
Sam: Fish sticks.

CALLEN: We’re missing something.
DEEKS: In my case, a fortune. But how is that possible?
KENSI: Because you have no future? Just sayin’.

DEEKS: Anything useful on Drewett’s cell phone?
NELL: Uh, it froze and melted.
DEEKS: So, it “frelted”?
CALLEN: … Spell that.

CALLEN: You know, I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m starving.
SAM: Dinner on you, G?
CALLEN: Anywhere but Chinese.
SAM: You know, I’m thinking, a bone-in filet, maybe a juicy porterhouse.
CALLEN: You’re always trying to milk it.
SAM: Is it truffle season yet?
CALLEN: All right, couple of ground rules here. No weird, expensive fungi, no eggs that don’t come from a chicken, no Scotch that’s older than you or me.
SAM: I can still order a seafood tower.

DEEKS: All right, let’s go in.
CALLEN: No. She hasn’t said the distress word yet.
DEEKS: Isn’t getting shot distressing enough?
SAM: She’s okay.
DEEKS: She’s my partner; I know her voice. Something’s not right.
CALLEN: She’s seducing him.
SAM: Maybe you just never heard that voice before.